


why do i do this to myself

by thisshitsstupidbutwhatever (orphan_account)



Category: My Own Head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-24 22:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22365844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/thisshitsstupidbutwhatever
Summary: i’m just a plain dumbass





	why do i do this to myself

i know it’s going to hurt to read

i know it’s going to hurt to play the same 4 songs over and over again

i know that if i think about it in my bed before i fall asleep, when i normally think about her, that it’s going to hurt

so why do i do it? 

i saw him on the bus today, and he hasn’t looked at me like that in ages

i wonder if he still cares about me

ofc i care about him, i love him

he replaced my brother growing up, he replaced the girl best friends that i hated. he knows my darkest secrets and is apart of my happiest memories

he made sure i fit in with the guys growing up, tackling me all the same. he threw me the ball over Kevin because i could catch better than he could. i was faster than the boys

god i forgot how much i love him

he feels like my childhood, and i don’t have any bad memories with him. he taught me how to be cool, he taught me what to do and what to not do. i taught him how to read and he taught me how to solve my equations.

he just played with snapchat filters with me, he still cares about me, he wants to talk to me. finally, 

someone from my childhood who loves me.

my brother, my hoodie borrower, my shoulder to cry on, my friend, my friendly bully. 

i missed him


End file.
